We know so little about the people we judge.
We are often too quick to form opinions about other people's lives. Someone is still living with their parents in their thirties, and we assume they haven't achieved much. Someone is struggling financially, and we question their choices. Someone hasn't progressed in their career, and we assume they aren't working hard enough. We look at where people are in life and make all sorts of assumptions about how they got there.
But the truth is, we rarely know enough. We don't know what responsibilities someone has been carrying for years. We don't know how much of their income goes towards supporting their family. We don't know the opportunities they had to turn down, the things they sacrificed, or the problems they deal with that never become part of a conversation. And sometimes, people are simply trying to get through a difficult phase without making it obvious to everyone around them.
We tend to judge people by their results, but ourselves by our circumstances. When we fall behind, we know exactly why. We remember the difficulties, the unexpected expenses, the responsibilities, the things that didn't work out. But when someone else falls behind, we don't always give them the same understanding. We assume they should have planned better, worked harder, or made different decisions. Of course, personal choices matter. Not every difficult situation is beyond someone's control, and we all have to take responsibility for our decisions.
But there is a difference between holding someone accountable and assuming we understand their entire life from what little we can see. Not everyone who is struggling is lazy. Not everyone who is doing well has had an easy journey. And not everyone who appears successful is necessarily happy.
We could all afford to be a little slower to judge and a little more willing to understand. You don't have to agree with everyone's choices. You don't even have to know their whole story. But you can at least acknowledge that there might be more to it than what you see.
A little understanding costs us very little. But sometimes it can mean a great deal to someone else.